Friday, May 19, 2006

some mistakes in the notice at the international student's domitry

My tutor, Kirsty is an international student of Tokyo university. And she lives in a dormitory for international students.

She told me that she found a grammatical mistake in a notice which is on a wall in the living room.

It says,,,

Please close the door to avoid the suspicious person entering.


Do you get what's wrong with this ?

She correct it like this.

Please close the door to stop anyone suspicious from entering.


She illustrate it that if we use "the", it seems like It is talking about one particular person. Everyone knows him and we are try to avoid him from entering because he is suspicious.

And also, she said that "avoid" sounds like a japanese expression, but in English expression, "stop" sounds more natural.some mistakes in the notice at the internation

Review the tutorial lesson on 18 May

It is useful if expansive.

In this case, "if" means like "even though"
"if" contrast two things which are useful and expensive.

from my essay "development of space technology"

She got money by teaching English.
She got money from me.

We have benefits from developing space.
If it giving something, use "from", but not "by"

There is no doubt that ~

a good try
It means that you tried something but you failed.

I don't know many photographers.
I don't know much Japanese yet.
I don't know much about photography.
if you are talking about a category, you need to say "much about".

from my summary "irrigation systems"

thoughts
thoughts is in your head.

ideas
It is more specific meaning than thoughts.

a considerable problem

a field flooding
It sounds like it was naturally happened
ex : the sink flooded

flooding a field
It sounds like someone did it on purpose
ex : I flood a sink!

Review the tutorial lesson on 11 May

I collided with bicycle last week.
There was a collision between 2 cars on the road.

The sun radiates light.


Kirsty live in a dormitory for international students. She found a grammatical mistake in a paper which is on a wall in the living room.
Please close the door to avoid

dump got in

I can't stand him = I hate him
I can't stand being with him = I can't be close to him physically.

alkalinity ←→acidity

practice ~ing

multiply

2400 x 4 =
If I multiply 2400 by 4
If I times 2004 by 4
That equals

on cordial terms (not so friendly but acting nicely)

I attained the scholarship to come to Japan.
"attain" can't use for object.

obtain
we can use "obtain" for object

Thursday, May 18, 2006

2nd draft : Development of space technology

Kirsty crrected my 1st draft


Some people think that the government should spend as much money as
possible on developing space technology for the exploration of the
moon and other planets. Others think that this money should be spent
on solving the basic problems of society on Earth. Which view do you
agree with? Use a specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • 362 words
  • 40 min
  • by using spelling check, dictionally, and some textbook


Society is often divided on major issues involving government
spending. There are so many different problems and projects which
need a lot of money by  from the government. However, I believe that spending
money for developing space technology is valuable for humans.

First of all, we already have many benefits by from developing space
technology. One illustration of this is that our life style was has totally
changed since we had a satellite. Investigating a satellite was a
remarkable development for human society. Nowadays, we can't imagine
our life without a satellites. There are is no doubt that they have made our
lives more convenient and comfortable.

People usually learn something by doing something new. So we
always have to try something new to develop our selves developing new things. I believe
that developing space technology is a good try for humans. Even
though people have studied about space for a long time, we don`t haven't know
much about space even a little yet. So we have to study about it more and
more. But It means we have many possibility to know about something
knew if we keep studying about it. This sentence isn`t quite right. It needs to read something like; which means that we have many possibilities of learning something new if we keep studying. As long as we investigate about
space science, we are getting know something new about the space. As long as we keep improving space science we wll continue to learn new things about space.

Finally, developing space technology is very dreamy exciting. When I
was a child, I was very excited about space technology. So I still
remember that I watched so many TV shows and read many books about space
technology. So, I think this it is also one of the good effects of the
development of space technology.

I know that developing space technology is very costly, so some
people think we should not spend money to on it anymore because there
are more serious issues on the Earth. However, I do not think we are
spending money to develop space technology. (We are definitely spending money to develop space technology, maybe wasting money is what you mean) I think that we can save
money in other ways, but not stop spending money to develop space
technology. To sum up, I believe that the government should spend as
much money as possible on developing space technology.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

1st draft : development of space technology

Some people think that government should spend as much money as possible on developing space technology for the exploration of the moon and other planets. Others think that this money should be spent on solving the basic problems of society on Earth. Which view do you agree with? Use a specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


  • 362 words
  • 40 min
  • by using spelling check, dictionally, and some textbook


Society is often divided on major issues involving government spending. There are so many different problems and projects which need a lot of money by government. However, I believe that spending money for developing space technology is valuable for human.

First of all, we already have many benefit by developing space technology. One illustration of this that our life style was totally changed since we had a satellite. Investigating a satellite was a remarkable development for human society. Nowadays, we can't imagine our life without a satellite. There are no doubt that It mede our life more convenient and comfortable.

People usually learn something by doing something new. So we always have to try something new to develop our selves. I believe that developing space technology is a good try for human. Even though people studied about space for a long time, we haven't know about space even a little yet. So we have to study about it more and more. But It means we have many possibility to know about something knew if we keep studying about it. As long as we investigate about space science, we are getting know something new about the space.

Finally, developing space technology is very dreamy. When I was a child, I was very excited about space technology. So I still remember I watched so many TV show and read many books about space technology. So, I think it is also one of good effect of development of space technology.

I know that developing space technology is very costly, so some people think we should not spend money to it anymore because there are more serious issues on the Earth. However, I do not think we are spending money to develop space technology. I think that we can save money in other way, but not stop spending money to develop space technology. To sum up, I believe that government should spend as much money as possible on developing space technology.

Kirsty castigated my summary

Green means that you don`t need those words and the Red is a replacement for them. Pink means that I didn`t understand it.



4.1 connecting information
page 378-379


summarize the points made in the lecture, explaining how they cast
doubt on points made in the reading




The professor is talking about some thoughts way of using (ideas for ways)
water for irrigation system in this lecture.

According to her lecture, agriculture uses water a lot than any (more than)
other sector of society. She thinks irrigation for agriculture is
considerable because we can not use the water for other purposes after I don`t know what you mean by considerable. I think that its` the wrong word. What`s the Japanese word?
using water for irrigation systems of agriculture. People use water
differently by some reason ; region, crop, agricultural practice and different irrigation systems depending on theirtechnology. Therefore there are many different systems of irrigation.

The professor casts doubt on points made in the reading to which
mention the least efficiency of a surface method. For example a
field flooding a field is the least efficient way of irrigation, because it requires
a lot of water to flood a field. However, because most water
evaporates in to the air and down into the soil, only half of the water
can be used for the crop. It means we are wasting the that half of the water is wasted.

There are is a better system of irrigation which is a sprinkler system,
because it can bring water to exactly where the crop it is needed. However,
even though a sprinkler does a better job than field flooding, it is
still a surface method. So some water still evaporates in to the air.

1st draft : irrigation systems : TOEFL Integrated task

4.1 connecting information
page 378-379


summarize the points made in the lecture, explaining how they cast doubt on points made in the reading




The professor is talking about some thoughts of way of using water for irrigation system in this lecture.

According to her lecture, agriculture uses water a lot than any other sector of society. She thinks irrigation for agriculture is considerable because we can not use the water for other purpose after using water for irrigation system of agriculture. People use water differently by some reason ; region, crop, agricultural practice and technology. Therefore there are many systems of irrigation.

The professor casts doubt on points made in the reading to mention the least efficiency of a surface method. For example a field flooding is the least efficient way of irrigation. It require a lot of water to food a field. However, because most water evaporate in to the air and down into the soil, only half of water can be used for crop. It means we are wasting the half of water.

There are a better system of irrigation which is a sprinkler because it can bring water to exactly where the crop need. However, even though sprinkler does better job than field flooding, it is still a surface method. So some water still evaporate in to the air.

Monday, May 15, 2006

important characteristics of a coworker : a second draft

My tutor corrected my first draft.



Having good coworkers is one of the most important factor of a job. From my point of view, having trustworthy, positive and hard working coworkers is very important.

To begin with having trustworthy coworkers is important because I need to trust them when I am working with them. For example, if a coworker stole some money from the company or cheated on you for their status, then how would you feel? If I couldn't trust my coworkers, I couldn't do a good job. Therefore, it is very important that my coworkers are honest and trustworthy.

Another important characteristics for my coworkers is having a positive personality. A person who is negative always has trouble in a working situation. Working is not always fun but is also very hard. There are always many problem even though we work hard, so, we have to solve them. However, if the person has a negative way of thinking, they can't solve the problem properly. They usually seem to avoid the problem and they feel too stressed or just become confused. We need to be positive to solve problems, and for this reason, coworkers must have a positive personality.

Finally, working hard is also a very important characteristic for a coworker. Coworkers are not just friends. Even though they are nice, if they are not hard working people, you can't work comfortably. I had an experience like this one of my coworkers was very lazy. He was a very nice, funny and friendly man. However, because he was very lazy, I often needed to scold him. This was very stressful for me.

I have some friends who quit their jobs because they couldn't stand being with their coworker. If my coworkers have the above characteristics, I would feel very comfortable at work.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

important characteristics of a coworker : 1st draft

Question:

We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with? ) Use reasons and specific example to explain why there characteristics are important.


Essay:
When we work, having good coworkers are one of the most important fact of good job. From my point of view, trustworthy, positive and hard working are very important characteristics for my coworkers.

To begin with that having trustworthy characteristics is important for my coworkers because I need to trust them when I am working with them. For example, If your coworkers steal some money from company or cheat on you for their status, how do you feel? If I couldn't trust my coworkers, I can't do good job. So that it is very important that my coworkers are honest and trustworthy.

Another important characteristics for my coworkers has positive personality. A person who are negative is always having trouble in a working situation. Working is not always fun but also very hard. There are always many problems even though we work hard. So we have to face many problems and we have to solve them. However, if the person has a negative way of thinking, they can't solve the problem properly. They usually seem to avoid the problem and they feel too much stress or they are just confused. Because we need to be positive to solve problems, coworkers must have a positive personality.

Finally, working hard is also very important characteristics for my coworkers. Coworkers are not just friends. Even though they are nice, if they are not hard working people, I can't work comfortably. I have a experience that one of my coworkers was very lazy. He was a very nice man. He was funny and friendly. However, because he was very lazy, I often needed to scold at him. It was very stressful for me.

I have some friends who quit their job because they couldn't stand with their coworkers. I believe having good coworkers is very important for every workers. If my coworkers have above characteristics, I would be so comfortable to work.